


Unfortunately For You

by Ghosty_Bee



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Demon Shane Madej, Demons, Gen, Haunted Houses, Identity Reveal, Inspired by Fanart, Oneshot, Ryan bouta lose it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:42:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22128133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghosty_Bee/pseuds/Ghosty_Bee
Summary: "They paused halfway up the overgrown pathway to the door. Shane grabbed Ryan and spun him to look him in the face. "I'm serious, Ryan. Go back to the car, I'll be back before you know it." Ryan narrowed his eyes, trying to decipher Shane's almost desperate expression."Okay, you're starting to freak me out. Don't tell me you're scared, and you're just trying to send me away so I don't see you freak out."Shane gave Ryan a blank stare. "What? No. I'm just trying to look out for my little buddy. There's no reason for you to go in there when we aren't filming. I'm trying to save us all a little grief."'A series of unfortunate events results in Shane and Ryan having to enter a sketchy, abandoned house in the woods in order to get Ryan's wallet back. Ryan is nervous to enter, obviously, but Shane seems just as reluctant.Things go about as well as expected.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej
Comments: 31
Kudos: 515





	Unfortunately For You

**Author's Note:**

> I found a stunning artwork by ghostpajamas-art on Tumblr, and my mind went running with it. With permission, I wrote this oneshot inspired by their art. Check them out!
> 
> <https://ghostpajamas-art.tumblr.com/post/186237754491/the-old-cabin-hadnt-had-any-visitors-for-years>  
> 

It was a series of unfortunate events that had led them to this predicament. 

They’d been in the area for an episode. The flight schedules gave them an extra day on location than they had planned for, creating the ever present threat of boredom. Usually, Ryan, Shane, and the crew would be content to spend the time lazing about the hotel, browsing social media and catching up on different projects, but this particular hotel’s wifi was subpar at best, and the guests across the hall were being less than considerate of their neighbours with their volume. So the crew decided to make a day of it. 

They ate breakfast at a lovely little diner with everyone before parting ways to do their own thing. Ryan and Shane had decided to go to a tourist trap an hour’s drive out of town; some corn maze ‘extravaganza’. It promised go karts, a petting zoo, zorb balls, games, slides and bouncy castles, rock climbing, and of course, a corn maze. It sounded like a great way to kill time and waste money. 

Of course, something must have been conspiring against them. 

By the time they arrived and bought tickets, the skies were dark and grey. The boys managed to get through the petting zoo (in which Ryan got into a dispute with a goat and Shane befriended a baby kangaroo) before the skies opened up to release a torrential rain, soaking the pair in seconds. All of the activities were outside, and the rain was not to let up for hours. 

Cutting their losses, the two piled back into their rental and headed back to town. On the way back, they then stopped for lunch at a cluster of gas stations and small businesses, bickering the whole time. They bounced from shop to shop; more so to avoid both boredom and the rain rather than actually purchase anything, and waited out the weather.

To top it all off,as they stood watching the rain slow to a drizzle, a stray dog snatched their bag of goodies fresh off the barbeque right out of Shane's hand.

“Shane!” Ryan cried, watching the dog sprint off towards the surrounding treeline. 

“Well that’s unfortunate.” Shane scratched the back of his neck. 

“Dude!” Ryan panicked, “My wallet was in that bag!” They stared at each other for a second, before both hastily stumbling after the mutt. They chased it through the trees as best they could, keeping a careful eye on the bounding dog ahead of them. 

“Shit! Where’d it go?” Ryan and Shane skid to a stop in a clearing, breathing heavy. Ryan scanned the treeline desperately, eyes caught by a ramshackle house in the middle of the field. What might have been a farmhouse big enough for the whole family was now one strong gust away from becoming a pile of splinters. The windows had long since been shattered and the frame sagged into itself. The overgrown shambles of a building sent a shiver up Ryan's spine. 

He stepped closer to Shane, unnerved by the sight. Shane stared at the building with narrowed eyes, lips pressed together. Ryan chuckled nervously. 

"You don't think…" Ryan's question died in his throat. As if taunting them, a bark sounded from the old house. Ryan groaned as he shook his head in disbelief. "You can't be serious. This is where people get  _ murdered _ . I know enough about murders and ghosts to know this place has bad juju!" Ryan paced in a circle, throwing his arms about.

Shane snapped out of his daze, turning to look at Ryan with a lopsided smile. "Bad juju?" He teased. 

Ryan flipped him off. "How much do I really need my wallet, right? It only has my debit card, credit card, ID, driver's license… oh god, my coffee rewards card is in there too." Ryan buried his head in his hands. 

"Take a breath, Little Guy," Shane placed a firm hand on Ryan's shoulder. "Look, I'll go get it. You can just wait out here, okay?" He squeezed Ryan's shoulder and made to move towards the house.

"What?!" Ryan snatched Shane's arm, dragging him back. "You'll go? Alone?  _ In there?" _ He gestured wildly. "It doesn't even look structurally sound. The minute your giant ass step in there, it'll collapse! You'll die! And people will think I killed you! I am  _ not  _ going to jail because you're too dumb to have a sense of fear!"

"Then what, you want to come with me?" Shane was obviously teasing, biting off a smile. 

Ryan took a steadying breath. "I guess so! Even if it doesn't crumble, you're gonna get eaten by a feral pack of dogs or get possessed by the ghost of an angry farmer and come kill me for trespassing!"

"That was very specific. Seen some horror movies recently?" Shane poked, making Ryan shove him and march towards the house. Shane, realizing Ryan was serious, stumbled after him. "Slow down, dude. I said I'll go get it, okay? There's  _ nothing _ in there that will hurt me." He implored, oddly serious. 

"It's my wallet anyways, Shane. I at least have to go in with you. Besides, everyone knows the guy who waits outside gets murdered first. At least if I'm with you, I can use your long legs as a sacrifice so I can make a quick get away."

They paused halfway up the overgrown pathway to the door. Shane grabbed Ryan and spun him to look him in the face. "I'm serious, Ryan. Go back to the car, I'll be back before you know it." Ryan narrowed his eyes, trying to decipher Shane's almost  _ desperate _ expression. 

"Okay, you're starting to freak me out. Don't tell me  _ you're _ scared, and you're just trying to send me away so I don't see you freak out." 

Shane gave Ryan a blank stare. "What? No. I'm just trying to look out for my little buddy. There's no reason for you to go in there when we aren't filming. I'm trying to save us all a little grief."

Ryan frowned, eyebrows furrowing in irritation. "Whatever. Look, the sooner we get in there, the sooner we can get out. So let's go already." He huffed, squaring his shoulders and tilting his chin in defiance. Shane watched his friend put on a brave face, and sighed. There was no stopping Ryan Bergara sometimes. Shane watched the house carefully, hovering over Ryan's shoulder as they stepped up the creaking stairs of the porch and through the front doorframe.

Dust and mildew greeted them, the wood and carpet around them rotting away with age. With his phone flashlight, Ryan carefully swept around the room. "Should we call for the dog?" He whispered. 

Shane eyed the walls around them. "No, don't call out to anything." He muttered back, still watching their surroundings. There was a creak above them, the sound of claws walking on the wood in the otherwise silent house. 

"Oh great, its upstairs. Of  _ course _ it is." Ryan picked his way through the house to the stairs at the end of the hall, Shane only a step behind him. Reaching the flight of stairs, Ryan paused. "There's no way this will hold. Fuck."

"It'll hold." Shane muttered. Under his breath, he continued, "they want us up; it'll hold."

Ryan tossed a glance over his shoulder. "What was that?" 

"Nothing, Little Guy. Just messing with you." Shane flashed Ryan a grin, hand firmly on his shoulder. "Stay close." He whispered, pushing past Ryan and starting up the steps without a glance at the groaning wood under his feet. Ryan scrambled after him.

The second floor was empty, walls caved in and wood stripped by the elements. The floor panels whined under their weight, but held firm. At the far end of the room was the dog, nose buried in the stolen bag. Ryan started forward, intending to slowly approach the dog, but Shane snatched his wrist painfully. 

"What's your deal?" He hissed quietly. Shane ignored him, glaring ahead at the dog. Ryan tried to shake Shane's grip off, but Shane only squeezed tighter. "Dude-"

A grotesque, wet,  _ shlap _ cut Ryan off. He turned back to the dog, and watched in horror as its skin melted off of its body. The Mutt's joints folded in on themselves, shifting and grinding against each other. The temperature around them dropped. The light coming from the broken windows was swallowed by shadows that swirled impatiently on the walls, grinning at them with sick delight. 

Ryan backed away, twisting on his heel to drag Shane down the staircase. Shane was frozen, unmoving. Before Ryan could yell at him to  _ run,  _ he tripped on his shock. The staircase was  _ gone.  _ No hole, no seams,  _ nothing.  _ Like it had never existed in the first place. They were trapped. 

Twisting back to the not-dog, Ryan forgot how to breathe. Standing there was…  _ something.  _ It was a inky mass of mismatched body parts, but all wrong. There was a dog paw, but covered in scales. A hand with too many fingers attached to an arm with too many joints. A wing with no feathers and no skin, just bone. The thing had no face, but Ryan felt it watching them. He felt it  _ grin _ at them.

And then it  _ spoke.  _ "It's been so long since we ate." There were dozens of voices, but they were no voices at all. No vocal chords produced the ghastly words. It was as if the words existed alongside oxygen; tiny and unnoticeable, but ever-present in everything. 

"No one visits." It continued. Ryan shuddered, limbs numb in fear. "And we're  _ so  _ hungry." The shadows around them swelled with anticipation.

Ryan's legs gave out under him as his heart stuttered. The hand clamped onto his wrist released, and Shane stepped next to him, one of his legs pressing into Ryan's back. And then he  _ laughed. _

Ryan looked up to see Shane grinning, shoulders shaking as he chuckled, hands buried in his jacket pockets. 

"Impressive show, I'll admit." He shrugged, offering a lazy smirk to the thing in front of them. The room stilled around them. "A bit tacky, with the whole dog lure thing, but nothing compared to Hollywood cliches." The shadows on the walls swirled in frustration.

"Bravado will do nothing." The creature crouched, ready to pounce. 

"Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you." Shane's smirk slipped off of his face. But it wasn't Shane's face anymore. There were too many glowing eyes lining his cheeks. There were fangs where there should have been teeth. There were horns sprouting from his crown, cracked and bloody. A forked tongue darted in and out of the lips curled to bare his fangs. 

The creature shuddered to a halt. "Not human!" It hissed in disbelief.

Shane rolled his head, shaking out his shoulders. "I'm guessing you guys were so starved you didn't notice, and this human here  _ does  _ smell pretty tasty, so I get it." Shane spoke with Shane's voice, but what Ryan was seeing  _ wasn't Shane.  _ He fixed his multi eyed stare on the thing across from them. "What I'm pissed off about, is you threatening me." The stagnant air tingled around them. The creature stepped back.

"It was a simple mistake. No disrespect, sir." It defended.

"Oh, now you figure out who I am? Any decent demon would have noticed well before I stepped into your nest." Shane hissed, anger dripping from his voice. "Really, all of you are a disgrace." He cast a glare around the room; the shadows shrank from his gaze. "Normally I'd let you off the hook; you're young and inexperienced in the mortal world." The room sagged with relief. 

Shane looked down to Ryan, who couldn't tear his eyes from the man standing over him. Shane's face flickered for a second, showing the real,  _ human  _ Shane underneath the horrors Ryan saw. The only difference was the pitch black eyes staring back at him. Ryan's heart lurched.

Shane focused back on the monsters around them. "Unfortunately, you also tried to attack  _ my  _ human." Shane pulled his hands from his pockets, revealing talons made of ink instead of hands. "And that's not something I'm prepared to forgive easily."

Ryan jumped awake in the passenger seat of the car, gasping for breath. He swung around wildly.

"Whoa, Buddy!" Shane exclaimed, swerving with the shock of Ryan trying to throw himself through the windshield. Ryan whipped his head to him.

"What the fuck?" He screamed. "What are we- where- I mean-"

"Take a breath, Ryan!" Shane urged, eyes on the road ahead of them. "We're on the way back to the hotel."

"What happened? I don't… I can't…" Ryan couldn't remember how he got here or anything leading up to it. He felt like he  _ should _ be able to remember; he just couldn't reach what was right in front of him. Ryan clutched at his head.

"Breathe, Ry." Shane's hands shifted nervously on the steeling wheel as he gave Ryan a moment to take staggering breaths. "What do you remember?" He asked carefully.

"Uh, we were at the shops, we had barbecue, my wallet was…" Ryan gasped. "My wallet! Where is it?"

"We got it back." Shane pointed to the console between them, where Ryan's wallet was sitting. He snatched it up and started digging through it. After a moment, Ryan sighed in relief. 

"But how did…?" 

"The moment we got into the house, you started freaking yourself out so much you were hyperventilating. You were blacking out every couple seconds and screaming whenever you were awake. eventually we managed to scare off the dog and get your wallet back. Then I had to practically drag you back, you were so panicked."

"No way, did I really?" Ryan asked, incredulous. Did he really lose his cool like that? 

Shane nodded. "That's why I wanted you to wait outside. I couldn't even save our BBQ!" Ryan smiled weakly, embarrassed at how much trouble he caused for his friend.

"Shit, I'm sorry man. I've never blacked out like that before." 

Shane flashed him a quick grin and waved him off, focusing on the road. Ryan sat back in his seat, trying to remember what Shane described. Something wasn't sitting right... But what it was, Ryan had no idea. 

He glanced at Shane's profile, and for a split second, saw a face full of eyes and horns and fangs. Then it was gone. Just Shane's regular, ugly mug. Ryan shook his head. "You didn't drop me on my head or anything, did you?" 

Shane barked out a laugh, and if Ryan had been paying attention, he would have heard how tense it was. Instead, however, Ryan was rubbing at his wrist, which was turning yellow with bruises. He figured Shane had to have held onto him pretty tight when he was helping him back to the car. But looking closer, there were the five little pinpricks going around his wrist where fingertips should have been.

"You alright?" Shane asked.

Ryan dropped his wrist, looking out the window. "Yeah, I'm good."

He _was_ good, right?

right.

**Author's Note:**

> And that's a wrap! This was a pretty self indulgent ficlet, but if you've made it all the way down here, I'd love any feedback! Of course, make sure to check out ghostpajamas-art on Tumblr! I just couldn't help myself with this idea, and they were kind enough to let me have my fun with it.  
> Link to the art here!
> 
> <https://ghostpajamas-art.tumblr.com/post/186237754491/the-old-cabin-hadnt-had-any-visitors-for-years>  
> 


End file.
